Even though the good old U-S-A is, as of this writing, third in overall medals, the perception in the media seems to be that we're not doing so well. That's probably due to the seemingly large number of events in which U.S. athletes are finishing fourth, fifth, or sixth. Never fear though, loyal readers, I have a solution!
First of all, do we even know why there are medals awarded for only the three top finishers? It probably dates back to ancient Grece, but this is the 21st century, baby! Time to expand the medal platforms to include a few more participants: from now on, medals to the top five.
Now, about those medals - why do they have to be metal? Medal is just short for medallion, not for a hunk of mined ore. Time to switch that up as well, put some animal alongside the mineral: fourth place - medallions of beef, fifth - pork medallions. Just don't leave them in the trophy case too long, and you'll be fine. Plus they both go well with a nice marsala sauce.
1 comment:
I see where you're coming from but I approach it from the other side. I say fewer medals, just one to the winner, and more meat medallions to all of the losers. Then as the winner celebrates during the singing of his/her respective national anthem, the losers are left to fend for themselves in a closed arena against a pack of hungry dogs, or lions, yeah lions. And those who survive can come back and try again in 4 years. While we are nostalgically reaching back to relive the ancient Greek tradition, let's give a shout-out to the Holy Roman Empire. :P
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