Friday, March 18, 2005

Steroids Under the Big-Top

After reading over various accounts of the House hearings on steroid use in MLB yesterday, here's my scorecard:
  • Mark McGwire: He sure sounded guilty, and about as evasive as Barry Bonds at a press conference (though much less ornery). I don't think he was comfortable with lying under oath, so he simply deflected the question. Unlike Bonds, he's a very likable guy; in that way it's a shame that his 70 HRs are probably as ill-gotten as Bonds' 73 appear to be.
  • Sammy Sosa: He brought a lawyer to read a convoluted, precisely-worded statement that leaves plenty of wriggle room. OK, so he broke no laws in the U.S. or his native Dominican Republic. So? What if he was prescribed steroids by some unscrupulous doctor on his home island? Sammy, you did yourself no favors, and didn't even manage to come off as a sympathetic character like your buddy Mark did.
  • Rafael Palmeiro: Admittedly one of my favorite players, he went with the unequivical, outright denial. Why Canseco would make up steroid-shooting incidents involving Raffy is beyond me, but don't just take Raffy's word for it, look at the guy! He's not exactly a prime candidate for a Muscle magazine cover shoot, is he? His physique is more Dunkin' Donuts then Shootin' Steroids, and that's how he's always looked. Besides, look at the swing. He's got a beautiful swing, like Ken Griffey Junior's, and during his prime years rarely had the 100+ strikeout seasons that McGwire had (1 season, compares to McGwire's 5) and always hit for average as well as consistent power (unlike Sosa and McGwire). He came out of the hearings pretty much untouched, especially with Canseco bactracking about some of the items in his book during the hearing.
  • Curt Schilling: Please remind me again, what was he doing there? Was he going to regale Congress with the story of his heroic post-season, pitching on a stapled-together ankle? I guess he's already told everyone else on the planet how heroic he was, it was Congress' turn?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I sense a good SNL parody coming for this one. There was enough material there to last a few sketches. And I think Maguire should have his brain checked out because he apparently has a problem remembering the past.