Monday, February 21, 2005

62 Essential Vitamins and Minerals

That's what your average box of Grape Nuts cereal contains. Not only that, but 500% of your USDA RDA - that's Recommended Daily Allowance, for you non-label-readers out there. And what does it have in the taste department? I'm glad you asked!

Jenny (my lovely and talented wife) and I don't often disagree, believe it or not. But I can only hope for the best, and prepare for the nutritious, when she buys breakfast cereals without me. While it's true that I do enjoy the sugary cereals - I have always had a particular affinity for Lucky Charms - I don't need tons of sugar for breakfast. There's nothing wrong in my book with Special K, even the plain stuff without the fruit, or Cheerios, the classic stand-by. But breakfast is the first meal of the day, and I'd prefer not to experience character-building events so early in the morning. Grape Nuts might be fantastically healthy for me, it might be the single greatest source of fiber known to cereal, but it also tastes like mulch. Cheap mulch, not the premium mulch with cedar chips and stuff like that. Cedar chips would actually improve Grape Nuts. Maybe I should write to Post and suggest that - "Grape Nuts, now with cedar!" I've heard that cedar doesn't stay crunchy in milk though, so it's probably not as marketable.

I also never thought much of frosted mini-wheats - kind of bland, I always thought, even with the sugar. That tune changed in a hurry when I discovered the colon-cleansing joy of regular (non-frosted!) shredded wheat. Frosted mini-wheats are a fabulous concept by comparison! Scouring the kitchen for a pop-tart is never an ennobling task, but alas, it was all too necessary on that sad morning.

I'm not asking that pastel-colored marshmallows be added to every cereal, but could we perhaps find a happy medium? Honey-Nut Cheerios? Total, with raisins? Golden Grahams never killed anyone, at least not that I've heard.

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